I remember before my wedding seeking out advice from couples that had successfully been married.??Turns out now, on the day of my 15th?wedding anniversary, that Stacey and I have become that couple for a lot of our younger friends that are about to commit to spend their lives together.
Before I give some advice on how to make marriage work, I?d say that marriage, parenting and relationship advice is useless. The truth is that when two people get together their situation really is completely and utterly unique. You are a product of two individuals that were completely and utterly unique. Your soon-to-be spouse is in the same situation. Nobody else has your relationship dna. You make the rules up for your family as you go along.
That said, here?s some marriage advice. Here?s how I think Stacey and I have made it this far.
The key ingredient for us has been learning to adjust to each other as we change as individuals. Stacey is so different than she was when we met 18 years ago.??She doesn?t even resemble the same person. Either do I. We are willing to adapt, communicate and evolve as these changes occur.
Stacey and I have been through brutal times together.??She was addicted to pain medication. I struggled with trust and intimacy issues. There have been times through our 18 years that I didn?t like parts of her very much. But I have always loved her, respected her and never questioned that my life is infinitely better with her in it.
Everybody remembers the cheesy line in Jerry McGuire when Tom Cruise busts into that man hating women?s group and declares that that chick with the squinty eyes completes him, right? Cheesy, yes. But I understand it.??I think Stacey and I really complete each other.??She fills gaps that I never knew needed filling.??She?s shown me how to identify important moments and cherish them and not just race through them. I had no idea what unconditional love meant until she introduced me to it.
We demand and challenge each other be better people. I think we have a standard for ourselves and our family and we constantly check and balance each other to make sure we aren?t compromising who we are.
Our marriage is a partnership. We work together. We get into the most trouble when we make decisions that satisfy our own ego and don?t think of the partnership first.
There have been so many highs and lows in our relationship. As a product of a divorced family I use to run away from issues in my marriage. Looking back I realize that working through those obstacles made our relationship stronger each and every time. The longer I put off the problems the bigger they get.
Coming from a dysfunctional family with no models when it comes to relationships I can say that my role as a husband and a father are my two greatest accomplishments. And I only became the person capable of being good in both areas because of my wife and our partnership together.
Related posts:
ozzie guillen castro comments phish gluten free diet barry zito mac virus santorum drops out bby
No comments:
Post a Comment
Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.